June 1st

198

May 27th

201

...and so it begins...

Living Proof......

I have decided that I am living proof to the theory:

"Stress can cause weight gain."

Yes -- it's true. Whereas I have a very large frame for a woman (confirmed by the Dr.), my target goal weight should be around 155 lbs to 160 lbs. I know what you "little" people are thinking...."big deal--that should be EASY!" Well, my sweet little friends--it's not. You see, I have so much stress in my life right now that, based on the above theory, I'm surprised I don't weight 350 lbs. I'm going through a terrible battle with my ex-husband over my three oldest children. I won't even burden you with the details, but suffice it to say, the situation is ridiculously awful and has shook me and my kids to the very core.

Okay ~ back to my weight. I am going to go out on a limb and reveal my deep, dark secret that I don't tell ANYONE (not even my husband)....I weigh almost 200 lbs. Whew...just typing it makes me want to cry. Seriously. Now--I have been even heavier in my life at 226 lbs. I lost over 70 lbs once, too. I was 29 when I lost all that weight and I must admit, I didn't really do it the healthiest way either. I used massive amounts of ephedrine (which is now linked to heart issues and is banned--who knew?). It's 11 years and one more kid later----and my metabolism is at a snail's pace. Yep - for sure. All my kids eat much more than me, believe it or not, but I am still gaining weight! So frustrating.......

Due to all the stress and fatigue, I have found myself NOT exercising. Exercise is the key to (my) weight loss. I know that...but tell that to my body who would prefer to lay in bed. Plus, with four children and all their activities, it's hard to get a minute for myself anyway. About a year-and-a-half ago, I was on a steady regiment of running in the mornings at 5:30am. And I enjoyed it. Somewhere along the way I got sidetracked---about the time I was in a car wreck and couldn't exercise for several months. That wreck totally busted up my desire for any type of pain--even the good kind that makes you healthier.

So--here I am, pushing the scales again. And I MUST make a change. PERIOD. So, in following another blogger's idea, I will be posting my weight until it gets down to where it needs to be. I'm not so concerned with the "number" per se, but I want to feel well and in shape. God has blessed me with a tall frame that is able to camoflauge most of this weight, but I feel awful.

No more!!!


So, my blogger friends, prepare to watch my shrinking number, okay? Oh, yeah, and encouragement is certainly appreciated.

fondly,
fit

Blah Blah Blah

Yep - the title just about sums it up. I can't believe how fast life is going right now! Let's see....

March

• My little girl turned 13. For her birthday, she and I went to see The Phantom of the Opera. She loves musicals and The Phantom is her favorite; so I surprised her. Had a blast. Here is her beautiful picture--

• Here are some pictures from her birthday party. She had six friends stay over at a hotel. We had so much fun! We surprised her with a Hummer limo (I got a REAL good deal!)

April

• My Tyler turned 16! We took he and some of his friends paintballing. [I had coupons!] We had an incredible time...killing each other was f-u-n! LOL I don't have any pictures because I had to leave my phone in the car. We had some bruising and bleeding --- but not too much.


• Nick started T-ball. Wow...let me just say that T-ball parents can be extremely competitive! In all my years of kids' sports -- I have NEVER seen parents get so worked up over a little game of baseball! For goodness sake, they are FIVE and SIX years old! Here are a couple of pictures of my little man. Isn't he adorable?!?

May

This month has already taken off...

• Tyler starts baseball this week. His first game is Wednesday and they've only had two (2) practices! He hasn't played since he was 8 years old, so I'm proud of him playing despite his intimidation of the other kids that have been playing for so long! And--let me say, I know that he is tall, but seeing him in those baseball pants REALLY makes him look tall and slender! Good grief!

• My nephew, Lucas, graduates this month (tear!). He is the first of the grandkids to graduate and I'm not real sure how his mom will hold up. LOL He is the valedictorian (of course) and probably has the highest grade point average of any GCA student for the last 13 years. Literally, he has received the academic achievement award every year since Kindergarten! I am so proud of him. He received the Dean's Award and full-scholarship to John Brown University. I can't believe he's already graduating....he was just born the other day!

As you can see -- life has been BUSY! God is good.

fondly,

fit

.....Post Edit....

I must post edit my last entry...

April 21st -- not a good day. I was already struggling with my "anniversary" of my car wreck. On the way home, I received a phone call from my husband..."honey--I'm okay, but I've been in a wreck."

UGH. Not really the way I wanted to end my day. I'm sure he didn't either.

It gets worse...

"honey--I've called the police. The guy hit me and ran."

"and--I think the car is totaled."

"Oh--and it's at the same intersection where you had your wreck last year."

YEP--same day; same intersection.

Could we possibly be more unlucky? LOL

So--here we are...less one vehicle, and we have to pay the deductible; and the money we will get back won't pay for another car.

Let's just suffice it to say that life has been frustrating.

I must, though, end this posting on a positive note===Robert was only slightly injured. Praise God that he is okay. He's sore and shook up (and a LOT mad), but he's okay.

fondly,
fit

One year ago TODAY...

...I was in a serious car accident. Don't get me wrong--it could have been MUCH MUCH worse; but still serious. I was heading to work, minding my own business--when the guy behind me thought it would be worth his time to text while he was driving. I was at a complete stop and was hit full force at about 40-45 mph. He hit me and I ended up in the back seat of a smaller car. All in all, five cars were in the wreck. There is NO doubt in my mind that if I had not been there and the guy had hit the lady in front of me, she would be dead. So--does that make me a hero?? LOL

Regardless, I still suffer from the wreck. I find myself having occasional panic attacks when someone gets too close to me in traffic. I'm sure that's normal. My back and neck will never be the same --and that really frustrates me.

Probably the most frustrating is the guy's insurance company is fighting my claim. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? We have a court date in AUGUST. I've had to fill out an affidavit stating I was alert, not medicated, not on the phone, etc. Huh??? I don't believe I had anything to do with the fact that the 19-year-old punk behind me had no regard for anyone around him. In fact, he wouldn't speak to anyone at the scene.

Seriously. He didn't even care enough to make sure I was okay. Yep --- punk.

Here is the verse I am claiming today (as I find myself very emotional):

I Thess. 5:23-24
"May God Himself, the God of Peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it."

fondly,
fit

"What do you mean...you don't think my kid is the cutest thing in the world?"

Well ~ I have gone and done it. Yep...I have entered my youngest son in a photo contest. I've never done that--with any of my kids. Naturally, he will win. Because he is the cutest kid in the world...bar none. *smile* Okay~ for all my many many readers (ha!), I know you have children, but I don't think I'm being biased here at all, right?

For those that are interested in following suit...here is the link to add your child's info (must be age six and under). [OK, Krister--I know you're about to follow my lead...and I agree that little angel of yours is precious...but don't cry too much when Nick wins, ok?] Just so you will know the stiff competition you're up against, here are just a couple of his photos:

Pretty cute, huh? Like I said---he will win. Just keepin' it real, peeps...

All kidding aside, I don't really care if he wins or not, I just thought it would be cool. Who knows, right?

hugs,

fit

JV Panther Basketball

#41 is my son, Jake.....He's my pride and joy. God has given him extreme athletic talent!

Love you, baby!

mom

Still no answers...but I remain hopeful!

My previous post was heavy....I know....but regardless, it was necessary to put into words what I have been feeling in my heart and head. I long for the kind of eagerness and dedication in my walk with Christ (as demonstrated here). I came across this blog through several other blogs and I saved it as a favorite. I don't know the author personally, but her words speak to me and cause me to think about where I am in my relationship with Christ. Her authentic desire to study God's Word and her immovable stance on what God requires of her is amazing. Several times I have typed up an email asking her "how" she got to the point where she is....but I never send it. I guess it's based mostly on fear of hearing the answer and not being able to follow through. I know that God is not the "author of fear" but sometimes (nope--most-times) it's easier to stick-my-head-in-the-sand rather than possibly fail at something.



My blogger acquaintance posted not too long ago that she was starting a new Beth Moore study, Breaking Free. I think I'm going to start it, too. Maybe it will help me work through these issues-----



fit

Raw Honesty

It's been so long, I'm not even sure where to start. I've had some great things going on---and some not-so-great. I must admit that I often wonder where my walk with Christ is going.

Please understand that this blog entry today will be raw and honest.
[I may not have any readers anyway--due to my long absence *smile*]

Why is it that people (me) base their relationship with Christ on "feelings"? Are we pre-programmed that way or is it by-product of our need for visual stimilus or something "tangible" we can touch and feel? It's no secret that I have always struggled with the concept of God. Believe me, I have done studies, attended classes and asked questions--- but regardless, I fall back into the mindset of, "where is God?" I don't like that mindset. So why can't I stop?

You know, it would be very nice--and extremely helpful-- if God had a videocam or something like that. Heck, I'd settle with a red bat-phone--just some way of hearing Him, seeing Him, or something tangible. I've heard others proclaim their instances of actually hearing God speak to them. So, exactly how do I place an order for that?

Lately, I have felt that my prayers (albeit simple, short, and occassional unfortunately) have "been bouncing off the ceiling" so-to-speak.

Do you think that God still hears them? Does he sit on His throne laughing at my half-hearted attempts? Is He in his "judging-mode" or His "mercy-mode"? Is it wrong to beg for a "sign" from Him?

The sad thing about this situation and all the questions I have posed is that I KNOW all the answers---IN MY HEAD.

But not in my heart--and therein lies the problem.

I have gained much head-knowledge of God over the years having come from a "bonefied Christian home." Where I struggle is the *heart* part of everything. So....how do I fix it?

fit

Summer Photos...Continued

Here are a few more:

WOW! Have I really not posted anything this month?

Well---guess I've been busy. No--let's say "taking a break from blogging." [yeah, that sounds better]

Summer is over! Although my children are completely bummed, I am THRILLED! Yes--structure again....wonderful. I know that there are many mothers out there that are enormously ready for school to start again. It baffles me how that my children can stay up so late and sleep until 1pm! And~ some days they take a nap after they eat "breakfast." Those were the days~

I will be posting many different pictures from our summer. Some from our family vacation, some from our hair coloring party with the cousins, some from swimming in the lake and jumping off the boat, etc.

Here are a few pictures from our summer:

Interesting Notes...

I always:

• try to eat breakfast. The only reason I would miss is if I couldn't get my hands on something edible.
• tell my husband "i love you" before hanging up the phone.
• refer to myself as the "traumatized middle child" -- even though I wasn't (LOL)
• color my hair --due to the amount of grey that has suddenly appeared (how'd that happen?)
• try to encourage my children in whatever activity they want to try.
• feel blessed when I see the loving functional family that I grew up with. Thanks Mom and Dad!

I sometimes:

• wish I were taller.
• long to live in another state.
• think juggling would be a fun activity to master.
• take my kids (and their friends) to toilet paper houses!
• wonder what it would be like to work on a cruise ship.
• think I'm trying to do too much.
• imagine what it would be like to not have to watch what I eat.

I never:

• take my family for granted
• forget a face. Now, a name -- that's different!
• thought I would be turning the big 4-0! Geez, I'm old...
• second-guess when I feel the Holy Spirit laying someone on my heart. I immediately pray for them.
• thought I would find the love of my life...but I did!
• say NO to chocolate.
• thought I would love fish as much as I do.
• want to look back on my life and have regrets.

Living in Fear

You know...I came to a realization yesterday. For the last several years (8 or so!) I have battled so many adversities! I find myself now -- absent any major drama -- living in fear of what the future holds and waiting for the "other shoe to drop." Intellectually and spiritually I know this is not the right attitude to have; however, emotionally I find myself living in a defensive position. How can I break this?? It's easy to say that God will take care of me and that "everything works together for good..."--but can I really say it and believe it?

Hence my quandry.....

I pray that I can break the cycle and just live my life (with or without drama) to His glory. It's going to take some work--but if I remain faithful, I can do it.

So, okay----"if" the other shoe drops...I hope it's a nice high-heeled beautiful slipper!

fondly,

fit

My Favorite Person in the World

I love you, BooBoo. Thank you for the date night to see Dave Koz and Brian Culverson in concert!!

Nick-isms

I'm going to start posting various sayings ("Nick-isms") that my five year old comes up with.

Upon seeing my nephew, Luke, who is turning 18 next week, he noticed that Luke had grown out a fashionable goatee and beard (he looked really cute!). Here's Nick's comment:

"Don't worry, Luke, I forgot to shave this morning, too!"

How cute is that?!?!?

fondly,
fit

FUN FUN FUN!!

The end of summer is nearing---boohoo. But, it's been filled with lots of fun and it will hopefully keep us going until winter break!

Here's a quick recap:
June: The three older kids had camp (which cost us a small fortune!). The boys went to Panama City, FL for Camp Beach. Jake settled his doubts about salavation (PTL!) and was baptized in the ocean by our Youth Pastor and Senior Pastor. They both came back excited for the Lord and definitely changed. My daughter went to camp as well and was treated extra special given her status as a graduating 6th grader. [I still can't believe she is going into the youth group!] We had Vacation Bible School, were Nick was able to attend for the first time as a graduating Kindergartner. He felt so grown up! Miranda had her week-long stint as a LoneStar Princess with the Miss Texas Pageant and was required to dress up in formal attire and wear her tiara. I'm sure that was difficult for her...NOT! We lost my father-in-law, but we were able to spend some quality time with family which was very theraputic. The month was also filled with various basketball tournaments for my oldest.

July: The older kids have been on vacation with their father and have been able to go to Las Vegas for Jake's teams basketball tournament. Robert and I have been able to do some cosmetic changes around the house and it's looking really good! The kids come back this Friday wherein we leave for a quick vacation to NW Arkansas for my cousin's wedding. We will then spend several days with Mimi and Poppi and all the rest of the family. We will celebrate Nick's 6th birthday while we golf, swim, dance, play games, etc. with the family.

As soon as we return, we will start back to band camp for Tyler, off season basketball for Jake, volleyball tryouts for Miranda and back-to-school shopping for Nick. Not to mention that I'm starting two new courses for my schoolwork. Help!!!! LOL

We have had an AWESOME summer~
fondly,
fit

"Godly talk does NOT make one godly"

Wow....How is that for a quote?

Think about it.
fondy,
fit

Lone Star Princess

As you may or may not know, my daughter was asked to be a Lonestar Princess for the Miss Texas Pageant. It was quite an event!

Unfortunately, during the very first day of rehersal is when I received the phone call that my FIL had passed away. My Mother-in-law was adamant that she not miss any of her pageant activities since she had been looking forward to this event for months. So, we let her stay with her dad for a few days while we were gone while he made sure she was at all her events. She looked absolutely beautiful! I managed to snag a picture of her while the photographer was taking her portraits (I know--I cheated...).

This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for her -- one she will NEVER forget! She truly is a princess--whether it's "Lonestar" or not...

Love you, Princess!

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R.I.P. Bob Teta

The last few weeks have been hectic (more than normal). We received a call on Saturday, June 27th, that Robert's father, Bob, had passed away suddenly. He had been ill for quite some time, but had been doing much better. Robert left to go home (Louisiana) immediately and I stayed back to take care of some things with the kids. [more on that later!]

Bob's rosary and mass were in Leesville, LA and his burial was in Stigler, OK. Robert's brother, Richard, has been in Iraq, so we had to contact the Red Cross to get him home. He arrived about an hour before the rosary! Things were stressful and emotional, but everything went okay.

I have some pretty interesting stories, but don't have time today to go into. I will post more later.
fondly,
fit